Dating tips

What your girlfriend is thinking when she’s spending the night for the first time

We all know the saying, men are from Mars, women are from Venus. We all know that men and women think differently. Oftentimes, men are wondering what women are thinking at all. When you reach that point in your relationship when you’re finally ready to have her over, it can be pretty nerve-racking, especially when wondering what she’s going to think of your living space. Inviting your girlfriend to your place for the first time has the potential of bringing your relationship into that next level or possibly put your relationship at a standstill. While it may not seem like a big deal initially, your home can show telling signs to your partner.

Here are 5 inside tips on what’s running through her mind, the mindspace she’ll likely be in, and what you can do to make her feel as comfortable as possible.

“Does he just want me here for the hookup?”

In today’s culture, it is very natural for this question to rack our brains. This might even be the main thought going through her head while she’s hanging out with you. Inviting your girlfriend over usually implies you’re serious about the longevity of the relationship and chances of her sleeping over are higher than if you were just going out to dinner. It’s important to be clear about the plans you have in mind. For instance, planning a walk through the neighborhood before snuggling up on the couch to watch your favorite Netflix series will make for an easier and more comfortable transition to the bedroom (if that were to happen). Show her that she’s wanted there by having something planned for the two of you.

“What should I wear to bed?”

When your girlfriend is spending the night for the first time, one of the many things she’ll be wondering when packing her overnight bag is what to pack to wear to bed. She’ll be deciding whether she should break out her matching pajama set or maybe one of her more sexier getups to impress you. Whether she opts for a sensual bra with lace accents or a more conservative t-shirt and shorts ensemble, it’s your job to let her know how beautiful she is. Complimenting your girlfriend’s physical features will lighten the mood and rid any lingering questions of “what does he think about me.” The more open and comfortable you are with each other, the deeper your relationship will be.

“Will he be mad if I don’t want to cuddle?”

Everyone is different with their spatial preferences while sleeping. Some feel claustrophobic and need their space while some love tangling like a pretzel for the duration of the night. It really varies. It’s important to communicate about this, as you could end up coming on toostrong if she’s not the cuddling type. This conversation might end up saving your relationship, especially if you’re really into her. Having the conversation might be awkward to bring up at first, but once the band-aid is ripped off, you’ll be glad it was done.

“When should I leave?”

One of the most awkward parts about spending the night is figuring out when to leave the next day. This can depend on whether it’s a workday or a weekend, but if it’s a Sunday morning, chances are she’ll be wondering when is the right time to head out. Having some sort of plan in the morning would be the best way to tackle this. Whether you let her know that you plan to head to the gym around 9 or you plan to grab a coffee with her, communication is huge. When both of you are on the same page, it makes for the least amount of awkwardness. If you plan to hang out for the day, plan a fun and unique date for you guys that will be a great experience and help you two get to know one another more.

“What should I bring over?”

If manners have taught us anything, we know to never show up to someone’s house for the first time empty-handed. Whether you’re occasional hookup buddies or officially dating, the same rule still applies for someone coming over to your place for the first time. Depending on the time of day and what’s planned, it would be a kind gesture to bring something like a bottle of wine or a bag of their favorite chocolates. If she has taken the time to ask you what to bring over, don’t hesitate on telling her something to bring. Her offering will make her feel a lot more comfortable and will also give you two something to enjoy together later on!

There you have it, some of the few thoughts women often have going through their heads the first time they spend the night at your place. Hopefully this has been helpful for the next time you invite your lady friend over!


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