What to do if your own insecurity is ruining your relationships
Everyone processes and responds to the world differently. That’s what makes it so challenging when your loved ones don’t seem to get along or when you can’t seem to connect with someone. It can be hard for some people to deal with their own insecurities, especially if they feel that they are never good enough or that no one will ever love them for who they truly are. Insecurity is ruining relationships and gets worse as we grow up and experience more failure in life; which is why most people unconsciously keep trying over and over again until they find the right person. But being insecure isn’t just something that you should try to work on — it could be hurting your relationships even more. Here are some ways you can start feeling less anxious so that you can have more meaningful interactions with the people around you.
Talk about your insecurities
Many people try to keep their insecurities bottled up inside of them, but that only makes them feel more vulnerable. Fearing and attempting to control your own emotional pain is like trying to tie a bowtie with your fingers; it’s hard and often painful. If you can’t talk about your insecurity in relationship signs that you notice with someone you care about — who cares about you — then you are missing out on an opportunity to get better. Start by talking about your insecurities with a close friend or family member. Try to find someone who wants to understand what you’re going through and who will be supportive of you. Having someone on your team who likes and accepts you can be really helpful, even if you have found this important person at kissbrides.com. Next, start talking about your insecurity in relationships with the people around you. It’s a good idea to keep a list of your friends, family members, and partners’ insecurities so that you can address them accordingly. If your partner worries a lot about impressing people or looks down on themselves because of their appearance, you can reassure them that they are loved exactly as they are. If your best friend is extremely shy, you can help them to understand why they have an easier time talking to you than to other people.
Examine why you feel insecure
It can be helpful to examine why you feel insecure. Maybe you feel that you don’t deserve to be loved because you’ve made past mistakes or had self-esteem issues due to abuse or other factors. Or maybe you feel like you’re not good enough because your partner is even more insecure than you are. Whatever the reason, it’s important that you don’t ignore it. Some people ignore their relationship insecurity triggers because they want to appear “better” than they are. But the opposite happens; when you pretend to feel confident, others often pretend to feel confident as well, which can make you feel even worse. You might be afraid to ask for help because you don’t want to appear needy, but pretending to have it all figured out can lead to bigger problems. Insecurity kills relationships. You might also be afraid to make changes because you don’t want to appear vulnerable, but pretending to have it all figured out can lead to bigger problems. Facing your insecurities and working to improve can feel scary, but it’s important to do so. It’s better to face the real problems than to pretend that nothing is wrong.
Confront people who make you anxious
Many people want to avoid conflict, especially when they are feeling vulnerable. But ignoring your most common insecurities is not the solution; it’s only going to make things worse. If someone makes you anxious, confront them. These could be people who make you feel bad about yourself or people who disregard your feelings. Simply ask yourself what is wrong with the person’s behavior and why it bothers you so much. You can also try to think of positive ways to approach the situation. This might feel awkward at first, but it is important that you do it. You don’t have to confront every person who makes you feel anxious; you just want to start off with one person who makes you feel bad about yourself. Try to think about what it is about that person that makes you anxious. Once you have figured it out, you can confront them and tell them why their behavior bothers you so much.
Stop trying to fix things that are already broken
Whenever you feel anxious, it’s easy to get caught up in trying to fix things that are already broken. You might assume that if you tell people how you feel and ask for help, they’ll finally see how important it is that they change. Don’t assume that people know how to “fix” things — assume that they just know that they need help. If you’re trying to “fix” things with your relationships and they are already broken, there’s no need to keep trying. Oftentimes, people who struggle with insecurities will try to “fix” their own feelings without getting help. But that only makes things worse. If you don’t know what to do about your insecurities, it’s better to get help than to try to “fix” them yourself. There is usually something that you can do to help yourself feel less anxious.
Do exercises that help you feel more comfortable in your body
Many people feel anxious or small in their bodies from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to bed at night. There are so many things that you do automatically that can cause you anxiety. Are you constantly worrying about things that could go wrong? Are you worried about your appearance? Are you dwelling over an unhelpful thought in your head? These are all things that you can work on to help you solve body insecurity in relationships. One way you can work on anxiety is to do breathing exercises. Studies have shown that people who have a difficult time with anxiety have an overactive mind that constantly worries. The key to working on anxious thoughts is to start by not thinking about them. When you notice yourself thinking about an anxious thought, try to redirect your mind by imagining breathing out. As you breathe out, try to think about something that makes you feel happy, like walking in the sun or running along the beach.
Help your partner see what they would like to change
Most people would like to feel less anxious, but they don’t know what to do about it. If you are trying to help with insecurities in relationships on your own, you might feel like you are completely lost. If you are experiencing anxiety, reach out to someone and tell them what is going on. Start by talking to your partner. Tell them that you want to make some changes so that you feel less anxious and they can help you. You might be surprised to learn that your partner has anxiety as well or that they would like to make some changes in their own life.
Emily Moore is an experienced copywriter and photographer with a degree in design. She works with startups, entrepreneurs, bloggers and companies from all over the world. In addition to writing articles and promotional material, she enjoys hiking, reading, cooking and spending time with her family. Emily also writes on the website kissbrides.com. You can see more of her work there.