Men are responsible for starting the dates or sexual encounters. But, can we move ahead from these stereotypical roles? We know rejection sucks.
If you have ever approached a boy and got rejected, then you know the pain of rejection. Being a woman, you would have received many unwanted pieces of advice too. Few of the pieces of advice do not have a good intention, but similarly, you would have met people who try to initiate a mutual and real romantic relationship. While doing so, they may have received rejections.
Men usually are responsible for starting the dates or sexual encounters, and women have the responsibility of appearing open and attractive to convince the man. According to a dating blog, men send introductory messages four times more than a woman. On the contrary, women work hard to send approachable signals, but men are expected to express their interests.
When you grow up, you find out that it is difficult and strange to initiate. Women usually do not want to take responsibility, but boys do not react well to it even when they do. The problem can be that straightforward women are referred to as not being characterless.
This forms a fascinating difference between men being the initiators. When men are the initiators, they do not have to worry about appearing characterless, but they indeed have to worry about appearing creepy. According to a few men, they are frustrated with the anxiety of initiating and would love it if the woman begins. These might be the same men who would refer to women initiating as characterless or have no idea how to react.
If you approach a boy and he has no clue about how to respond, it is excellent because you will instantly know that if a man cannot hack society’s gendered scripts, then he may not be a good person for you. There are certainly a few ways women can initiate that will feel less confusing or threatening to men.
There are many problems with the seduction community, which are observed by a feminist correctly; this includes cynicism, misogyny towards relationships, as well as some tactics, which are awful for consent. If you search for feminist dating advice on Google, you may see a blog that says, “Just pick up your phone and call him.” It may seem funny, but it is decent advice, at the time, in a few circumstances. Another article from a famous site says:
Step 1 – Never be an asshole.
Step 2 – Do anything that you want, but it must not violate Step 1.
Most feminists say that this is not their job to give romantic advice that is positive, mainly to men.
There are many honorable men who would like to approach their partners, but they will have trouble figuring out how to do it. If being a woman, you can have a positive impact; then you must offer your help. You can tell them about reading the signals that a woman gives, respecting boundaries, and approaching her in a way that is charming.
Even if you think you cannot be a good source for giving advice, you can still tell the boys that a good place to being maybe having an open space where you can discuss romantic strategies that can be a mix of ethical and feminist strategy, which will allow them to enjoy the success rate. An important thing that feminists could do is to give everyone more options in how to live and interact with gendered scripts, which shape us.